Lost+in+Translation

By: Hannah Samuel & Megan Hahlbeck
 * ** Lost in Translation **

The page http://www.dartmouth.edu/~karamazo/translations.html refers to three different translations of __The Brothers Karamazov__ and explicitly shows the differences of translators' punctuation and the connotation of words used in interpreting Dostoevsky's work. We want to show how the translators' choices impact the meaning of the text. The three translations were done in 1990 (we will refer to this one as Translation 1), 1950 (Translation 2), and 1970 (Translation 3). The translation by Pevear and Volokhonsky in 1990 is the one used in the book we are reading in class.

Before we begin, please look through this picture the passage of Dostoevsky’s original work written in Russian in 1880. Although we cannot know what the translation purely means, we can notice similarities in few words and especially the punctuation. The punctuation that we can read is an essential part of understanding the true and original characters the author created. The punctuation of commas, colons, parentheses, exclamation points, and question marks are used universally in language to reference the emotion in how they are said. Noticing how they were originally placed in __The Brothers Karamazov__ compared to the translated versions, is a way of measuring the purity to the original and text.

 Our first opinion of the first translation was that it seemed very similar to the original text written by Dostoevsky. One thing we noticed is that the punctuation was reserved as it was originally written. This use of punctuation reserves the tone and feeling of the speaker's words as they are said. All the colons, question marks, and exclamation points are kept the same in this translation, when in the others, it was not. This translation was the only one to include the colon in the first line, "There's just one thing: how can I..." This colon provides a pause in his speech giving the reader an opportunity to respond to Dimitri's thoughts. It makes this passage seem more personal and more of a discussion rather than just a rambling speech. Also, the exclamation points especially show the vehemence of the speaker's feelings when he writes, "Never! Because I'm a Karamazov." By reserving this punctuation, it shows the attempt of reserving the feelings of the characters from the mind of the author. As punctuation’s purpose is often to add feeling and emotion into words, the quotes’ punctuation of the speaker are an essential bit of information that portray the character in the purest light despite the language barrier. One main concept was dealing with the line, "Because when I fall into the abyss, I go straight into it..." and the connotations of the words "abyss" and "straight into". The word "abyss" is dramatic form of a hole or pit with the idea of an eternal, everlasting fall. This suggests that the speaker has no escape from his certain situation. When he describes his fall as going "straight into..." the abyss however, although the speaker (Dimitri) realizes the outcome may not be in his control, his attitude is. It is this outlook on the overall situation that is shown through this translator’s word choice, “straight into…” suggesting no hesitation and a Dimitri’s determination to make it through to the end of his struggle. This higher level of self-importance and capability known by the speaker is displayed again through the analogy of Dimitri grabbing onto God’s “garment” and the phrase, “still I am your son, Lord…” Here, the translators’ word, “garment” describes what Dimitri holds on to when speaking to God. As garments are usually thought of as clothing, Dimitri is placed at the feet or behind a ‘turning-away God’ visually, instead of placing Dimitri speaking to God face to face, or side by side. This subordinate position creates the impression that Dimitri recognizes that he is below God and asks for his attention instead of demanding it. When he speaks the words, “Still I am…” to God, his emphasis on the word still makes it seem as though Dimitri is justifying his self-importance and defending himself, rather than simply stating, “I am your son…..” The alterations in word choice and the connotations of the words used in this translation create a slightly different standpoint about Dimitri’s character and personality than the later translations. It is this difference that may influence the way the English-fluent readers will read and contemplate Dimitri and so it is essential that the author’s intentions on his characters are preserved through this tool of speech, may that be through punctuation or the connotations of their words. Translation 2, written by Constance Garnett in 1950, seems to have the most variation in the text from Dostoevsky in both its punctuation and differences in connotation of word choice. Overall, the punctuation of this translation seemed to be less passionate than the first because some key points were removed. One such example includes the colon from the beginning statement, as expounded upon previously by giving the sentence a discussional manner by acting as a pause. We see the difference without that colon in this translation when the interpretation reads, “But the difficulty is how am I to cling forever to Mother Earth.” This sentence not only compacts the other translation’s ideas into one statement, but also removes this colon. The sentence is read without a break and attention is no longer as focused and thoughtful with the change. Another part of the passage that shows the effectiveness of the punctuation is seen later on in the statement “…(and it’s always been happening)….” These parentheses seen here are reserved from the original text as seen above and so provide an inserted side-note the Dimitri wishes to include in his spoken thoughts. These parentheses draw attention to the side-note and hint at a spoken wearied tone with the words placed inside them. Without them, the inside statement would be lost in the bigger idea of the sentence and lose the stress Dimitri intended for his statement to have. With that side-note, we move into the word choices used by this translation opposed by the previous 1990 edition. In this translation the word “cling” is used to describe the way the speaker feels he must relate to “Mother Earth.” Within the other two translations we see the words “alliance” and “compact” used to describe the relationship between the earth and Dimitri. The connotations set with those two words suggest a sort of mutual agreement or teamwork between the earth and himself, while the term “cling” seems one-sided, as if the speaker is the only one who is involved with the earth and receives no cooperation in return. The word “cling” places the speaker in the spotlight passage and puts the relationship there, and so the situation he is contemplating upon his shoulders alone. This duty Dimitri sees in himself shows up again later when the “pit” or “abyss” is written as him “leap[ing] into” rather than the previous translation of him falling into. The difference of Dimitri leaping rather than falling is in the before-thought and willingness of the speaker. With the translation of Dimitri feeling as though he is leaping into the pit, we see his determination and an active choice to go, rather than him falling and being thrown into the situation with no orientation of what to do, or what is happening around him. The action of the “leap” Dimitri shows his outlook on the future situation and his internal drive to go into it and attack it head on rather than let the opposition have the head start, revealing an aggressive behavior to his character. Word choice also plays a big role in revealing Dimitri’s thoughts and views of himself. We can see from this translation that Dimitri has a good amount of self-respect and again displays this aggressive attitude when he states, “…pride myself upon it” following his humiliating fall. No other translation uses the word “pride” but instead describes his fall or leap as “pleasurable” or beautiful” in a way. The word “pride” however differs from the rest in that it relates not to the act of falling or leaping, but of how Dimitri feels when entering the pit (or struggle). This pride seems to appear again when he speaks of God and “kiss[ing] the hem of [his] veil….” This choice here was to use the word “veil” rather than “garment.” As garment generally refers to clothing. and veil specifically to a headpiece, the position in which Dimitri is placed when kissing the Lord in translation 2 is face-to-face. This position of speaking to God in this manner shows the self-importance the speaker puts in himself even when speaking to a greater being. Although the tone is respectful and arguably submissive, the visual picture of the speaker is less reverent and more confrontational than translation 1 ad 3. This point seems to be in unison with the leap Dimitri takes in this passage. His position is described as “headlong” rather than “head down, heels up….humiliating position…” than in the before interpretation. This difference also allows for “pride” and displays that the “leap” made was intentional and his own decision, emphasizing the before difference between the “leap” and “fall” and “pit” and “abyss.” Besides the differences in connotations on the words in this passage, this specific translation had a few word choices primarily used due to the fact that the translation was made 40 years from the recent 1990 translation and almost 60 years ago from today’s time. The old English used included words such as “shrouded” and “thee” when talking of God and Dimitri’s relationship to Him. Although we cannot know what the Russian text truly says, we can recognize the change made from the recent translation to this older version and take into consideration the effect that also has on Dostoevsky’s original meaning considering even the 1950 translation was written 70 years following the original. The third translation we looked at was written in 1970, by Andrew H. Mac Andrew. Over all, this was the worst translation in our opinions. It seemed simplistic compared to the other translations and lacked the meaning of the original work. We feel that as MacAndrew translated, he also interpreted and analyzed Dostovsky's work himself. Going along with making changes, he removed almost all punctuation. Of the three, he used the least ammount, and the times he did use punctuation was uneffective. He, like the second transaltion, removed the colon from the first line, which takes out the personal element the first translation had. Then, in the second line he has, "I don't plow her soil..." The three dots (can't think of what they're called) are not in the original document at all, only added by the translator, and they seem to serve no purpose. Does he mean to be trailing off? Or implying that there's more to the story? Whatever his pretext was, it only confuses the reader and changes the text. Towards the end, he writes, "No - because I'm a Karamozov, becuase..." After "No" there is only a dash which really cuts down on passion and family pride that the other translations had, To further that, there is only a comma. A comma suggests a short pause, and then a continuation of the story. Being a Karamozov is obviously very important to the characters in the book, so it should be shown as an important part in the passage with more punctuation, such as an excalmation point or even just a period. As it is now, being a Karamozov seems something regular; something in daily conversation, which doesn't seem right. Another change he makes it with the dashes in the fourth line, "...where I'll find myself next- in stench and disgrace..." None of the other passages use dash marks, in the other two translations commas were used. Then, later, "...depravity - and that has happened...else - I've..." In this case, dashes were used instead of parentheses. Both punctuation does the job of seperating that specific line from the text, but it changes the thought. Parentheses stand out and visually remove the line from everything else and shows a completely seperate thought, while dashes do the job, but almost half- heartedly. And speaking of half- hearted, let's get into the word choice of the translation. Right away in the first line it reads, "But what makes it hard for me..." The translator comes out right away expressing Dimitiri's difficulties. This makes it seem more personal since now the author knows something is going on, specifically affecting one of the characters. The next example we have shows the over- simplification and pre- analyzed aspect of the text. In the previous translations the translators said, "I don't tear/ cleave at her bosom" but, in this translation it reads, "I don't plow her soil." Although the author means "plow her soil" literally, by making it figurative, the reader can choose how to interpret and understand it. By changing the words like that, it takes figurative language out of the passage which obviously seems very present throughout Dostovsky's work. Doing that, the translator is ruining the original tone of the book. To continue, the translator also uses overly- simplifed words that are too common and really lack depth. He says, "Should I, then, become a peasant, a shephard, or what?" "Or what?" is something we would say in daily life in a regular conversation. It doesn't fit in with this passage and doesn't seem like a good example of 1800s Russian Literature. The translator does the same thing with the word "puzzle" instead of "riddle." A puzzle is a childs toy or something the kid detectives you read about in 4th grade try to solve. "Puzzle" lacks depth and once again, doesn't seem to belong in the rest of the passage. One last thing to discuss is the line that reads, "...because if I must plunge into the abyss, I'll go head first, feet in the air...I'll even think that it's a beautiful exit for a man like me." This suggests that the character is choosing his fate. Since it is a "plunge" rather than a "fall", the speaker knows what's coming for him after the "plunges". It's not an accident, it's not unwilling, this is a decision the character makes for himself. By even deciding how he is going to fall, "head first, feet in the air..", it shows that he has taken some time to think how he wants to go about his future. Then by describing the exit as "beautiful", the speaker takes pride in his decision and shows a nobleness as he plunges into an eternal fall. Although all three translations come from the same original passage and have the same main concepts, there are extreme differences. The diffferemces are many, including tone, word choice, the idea of fate with falling/ leaping/ plunging in the abyss/ pit. Each translator took certain ideas differently and used their opinions and ideas to shape the passage how they felt it was best. With the words they chose and the use of punctuation, each translator was able to bring something different to the passage and each one helps the reader see things from a different light, not just one idea presented throughout. However, Hannah and I felt the first translation by Volokhonsky was by the far the best. We can not be sure, since neither of us is good at reading Russian, but we feel that his translation was the most accurate to the text, but he also was able to spice things up with this own writing skills and words.


 * Bonus feature: **

Just to show you how hard translation can be, we've included a link to a site that came up with several different words in Russian that mean "puzzle" when searched in the online dictionary. Check it out! http://www.multitran.ru/c/m.exe?MtsrvAction=ShowTranslations&MatchCase=OFF&ShowLinks=ON&SearchPhrases=ON&HL=1&s=puzzle

Did you know that the word "boat" can translate to either "bote" or "barco" in Spanish, depending on the size of style of the boat, or the preference of the speaker. But, it goes both ways. The Spanish word "contento" can mean happy, content, or even pleased in English. This double- meaning is present in Russian- English translations as well. Use the online translator below to try to find some examples of this double- meaning, in both Russian and English. How could this affect the translation and meaning of the text? Good luck!! http://translation2.paralink.com/ ||